Jumping Into a New World

Nostalgia

I am here. I am back. Things have changed, place seems bigger. Everything contemporary and open. Everything large and Proud! I would have loved this place more. I would have stayed here longer. The air smells cleaner too! I decided this isn’t so bad after all, that I can definitely tell people its a nice place. The lights are bright enough for any time of day, the lighting excellently amplifies the experience. I feel somber, a taste of nostalgia. 4 years. 4 long years in this place. I would have done anything to rid myself of this place during those 4 years, anything to quicken the pace and to finish these sights and memories. Now that I’m sitting here again I miss it. Its quiet here, all the movement outside and the activity is silent and slow. There is less of a frantic feeling to this place now. I am at rest, at peace with the surroundings. Now that I’m sitting here again i miss this place. I miss the feeling of accomplishments, of rewards and punishments, of failing and succeeding. Life still throws those at me but no longer so much at once. Now its goals. Before it was grades and deadlines. Now its schedules and payments. Before it seemed dream like and passing by like a movie. Now its the real deal and the director is letting me improvise the dialogue. I am happy now, but i miss this place. UIC never felt so warm to me before.

Serenity

Humanity on one side, nature on the other. He sat centered between the two pondering his situation. Man made and processed lined the view to the west, nature bound and natural to the east. At the very center he sat, both natural and man made. Sprung up through nature, influenced by society. Created from a miracle, developed through technology. Inspired by beauty, taught by understandings. A byproduct of both worlds, the best of both reflected in him. He is a representation, a viewpoint of either sides, he exists at both sides conveniences but at the same time he is a necessary occurance required by both nature and man. It is because of him that these comparisons are being considered, it is because of this being that these thoughts are being made. Both sides need him and yet they dont, but does he need one side more than the other? Nature brings ideas of freedom and serenity, humanity brings ideas of wisdom and wealth. He is torn between the two and yet he is content with being in the center. He knows and feels right in this place, he wants to stay like this forever.

He glances over to his right, another being like himself is experiencing the same instances he is. He studies her. She too understands, she too sees the bounds. Serenity rushes over him once more, she allows him to be at peace. She has nature and beauty to her, she has wisdom and promise reflected in her. She is a byproduct of both worlds, and yet she is more. She stands outside of the center, on a separate level of the in between, she invites him to venture into the view from above, but he doesn’t understand it yet, he is fixated on the in between, he is stuck in the middle. He wants to tell her to help him understand, instead he smiles. She returns the smile and he understands, the warmth in her expression guides him through her reasoning. They venture outside the center and explore both worlds from afar. Their beings are connected through this, through this they understand each other. He knows and feels right in this place, he wants to stay like this forever.

Noise in the distance distracts him, his attention taken away from his experience. Humanity encroaches on his serenity, reality starts to set in. Nature, man made, understandings, knowledge, wisdom, promise, it all starts to fade away. His focus brought once more to his life and what he is doing. A fleeting moment of happiness as he recalls his experience, and yet everything is burned into his memory. His memory will serve for now, his experience can be relived at any point. He doesnt grieve over the short occurance, he feels blessed for being able to experience it. It allowed him to understand, it gave him new hope. He felt right in that place and he’ll look for it forever. 

Dinner

1: Sorry. 

2: Ok look. Tell me what you see over there.

1: What?

2: Right there.

1: Are you serious?

2: Yes, what do you see there?

1: Look, im sorry, do we have to do this right now?

2: Its important. Please!

F: I mean.. fine, a chair. I see a chair.

M: What about that chair?

F: Really?

M: Humor me. Please.

F: Alright.. Alright. I see a chair. Its part of a set, at a table. The table is neat and organized and… its ready to have customers sitting at it.

M: Anything else? What about the other settings?

Female: Other settings? That table looks the same. Only different. Both settings are neat and organized but one is slightly crooked. They both have the same amount of utensils and salts, sugars, and peppers and they are organized in the same fashion. Almost a mirror image if not for the slight differences in angles of the place settings.

Male: You notice all that? All those little differences and similarities? Those slight wrinkles in their existence? 

Female: Yes, i notice and i scrutinize. I am a woman, i have opinions, ideals, and views. Is that so hard to believe?

Male: All people have those, why is it that yours are right? What sets you apart?

Jane: My senses and my identity. I am who i am because of my ideals and my opinions. They don’t have to be right to define me.

Matt: And you don’t think your losing your grip on your identity? Scrutinizing little details like that? Why cant the bigger picture work? Why cant it make sense?

Jane: Because its been done. The bigger picture is just a repetition. Its not original. You need the different details. You need to have the Change.

Matt: I think your scared. You don’t know what you want. Your like a little kid that just got praise from an adult for going potty the right way. High on life and energy and you don’t have the damnest clue what to make of all of this.

Jane: You know what i really see? I see two chairs at a table. They are separate, away from each other. Not together. Different. Alone. Like us.

Jane stands up and walks out. They are both now like the chairs. Matt and Jane different yet the same, once together, now alone.

Life

Wake up. Brush teeth. Need to: laundry, gym, store, post office, work, sleep. Errands. Halfway through the list another item adds itself to the list. Car crash. Emotions blaring, sirens blaring, arguments blaring. Now the list is paused, now the reality of the situation sets in. Cant go to the gym, cant go to the store, might be late for work, might lose sleep, how is laundry going to be finished? Thoughts raging through the mind, cop raging through the situation, other party involved raging through the scenario. Reports finished, situation explained to both parties, cop leaves. Both parties stay. They talk, talking is good. Emotions put aside, life begins to awaken. No longer are they just two people, now they are a man with wisdom and a boy with an open mind. The boy listens the man talks. He imparts wisdom through his experiences, he involves the boy in his life and shows him what kind of life he has led. He asks the boy for his life, his schooling, his ambitions. The boy willingly shares. The crash now seems like a distant memory, a memory distant from where they are, an uneventful experience, an inexperienced event. The crash created these two, created a bond. They fall away from their routine and bond. The unforeseeable crash that took place created a friendship. The man advises the boy further and the boy accepts. They part ways, but not without first both shaking hands several times. The man shook to wisdom and hope, the boy shook to promise and future. Together they grew from the experience and together they left happier and more satisfied than they were. Together they lived.

PS. To whom it may concern, this was a story brought about by what happened to me today, a car crash that started in a bad way but ended in a very interesting and inspiring way. It never hurts to talk, there is already enough hate in the world, why not always aspire to find the good in people.